RE~ASSURANCE, SELF~ASSURANCE
& SELF~ASSUREDNESS

Years ago, when the position of musical director
opened up at The Centre for Spiritual Living,
I REALLY wanted the job!

I was perfect for it and had an additional skill
that no one had ever brought to the role:
I could write original songs every week on the
topic-of-the-day.

The only problem was, the director had to play piano
and, at the time, I had not been playing long.
No amount of RE~ASSURANCE could convince
me that my limited piano skills were good enough.
The thought of playing 8 songs a week on piano
terrified me too much, I suggested a friend for the job.

She was a great piano player and singer, but she lacked
the organizational and people skills needed for the job.

After a short time, she decided she wanted to quit
and, because I had been helping her out with everything
except for the piano playing, I decided to push through
my fear and take the position. Watching her do the
job made me realize how much I wanted it and how
much fear I was willing to push thorugh.

I practiced endlessly and was still absolutely terrified.
I wasn’t afraid to make a mistake, but, in those days, if I
lost my place, I couldn’t find it so the piano
would just stop mid-song.

I spent the first entire year of that job terrified, but it
was also amazingly fun and an incredible rush to perform
my original music every week! I had to RE~ASSURE
myself constantly, that even if I had to stop playing
mid-song, the congregation would be supportive.

I held the job for 6 years and, gradually, my
need to RE~ASSURE myself turned into
SELF~ASSURANCE that, even though I wasn’t a
great piano player, my other skills made up for it.

Part of the job was playing a 15-minute improvised
piano instrumental while the reverend did a weekly
improvised spoken word meditation.

In about year 3, I had developped enough
SELF~ASSURANCE volunteer to do both the
piano playing and the spoken word part one time
when the minister was absent.

It was terrifying but also thrilling.

I had always wanted to do something like that.

What I wanted even more was to SING
an improvised meditation while playing piano.

Fast forward a few months and I worked up
the courage to try it!

Like all music at the centre, this piece was recorded.
I saved it on my computer and many years passed
before I discoverd it.  I was stlll proud of it
but not enough so to play it for anyone.

It’s one thing to write a song and take your time
recording and perfecting it, but it’s quite another to
open your mouth and sing without even knowing
what words or melody are coming out!

Fast-forward over a decade and I’ve  now
developed a SELF~ASSUREDNESS that allows
me to share this piece of music.

SELF~ASSUREDNESS enables me to stop being
afraid of what people will think of it and not to
judge it against songs I’ve written instead of
improvised.

What I really like is that the same core message
I share today is there all those years ago, even
the repeated mention of 8EAUTY which I didn’t
know would be so important today!

The piece is quite relaxing, so you can colour to it,
dance to it or just lie down and close your eyes
and experience the musical channel.
(If it’s not your cup of tea, feel free to turn it off
and tell me how much you didn’t like it.
I’m SELF~ASSURED now, remember?)

I gave this image to my mother the other day as part of her individual content. It’s a photo of a shadow of tree branches that was taken by my dad and I turned into a mandala.

She asked me if I could turn it into a colouring page for her
and I did. I decided to give it you all as well, in case you’d like to colour it, too.