Once upon a time there were a group of SELVES. They were just your average, ordinary SELVES, meaning they were infinitely, exquisitely, magnificently beautiful. They lived in a group of women who were equally as infinitely, exquisitely, magnificently beautiful but had lived most of their lives unaware of these qualities. Unbeknownst to the women, their SELVES loved them unconditionally as they waited patiently, hoping for the day that they might be seen and loved back.

The problem was, in order to do this, the women would have to make the journey to a place they had almost entirely forgotten.

Selfloveland, a vast and limitless state in the sovereign nation of Beautybourg, was the birthplace of all the women, but none of them had been there since they were very young. The SELVES, however had been living there all of their lives, enjoying all the luxuries of this world-class destination.

On this day, some SELVES had gathered for a delightful trampoline session, followed by tea and peaches at Beautybourg’s premier wellness spa, Talk Amongst Your Selves.

“Mine had a birthday the other day.” said SELF. “Her daughters made her such a beautiful party. It was really intimate -just immediate family close friends- they had originally wanted to throw a huge bash to celebrate her big 60, but they knew she wouldn’t want it.”

“Good move.” chuckled SELF. “We all know how much she hates being the centre of attention.”

“Mine is reading another self-help book right now. Really interesting stuff. She always picks such great ones, but we all know that information alone isn’t enough. You need the right mindset and a solid method to make it a daily practice.” said SELF.

“Totally” said SELF. “Mine has a found a really nice groove with her wellness practices. She does a Tai Chi class, meditates in the mornings, and has found a diet that really works for her system. She’s doing really well with all of it, but she still looks in the mirror and feels sad about aging.”

“They’re masters at loving and caring for others, but the love never comes at us as strongly.” said SELF “They just don’t see us. It’s like there’s an invisible wall keeing us separated. I was just talking with SELF about this yesterday when we were taking our kittens to the symphony.”

“If they only knew how much we dream of reconnecting.” said SELF. “It’s what every SELF wants most.”

“On the bright side, a lot more of them are trying than ever before.” said SELF. “SELF’s woman took a course last year and now she speaks to SELF every day. Politely! I mean they speak at us every day with all the negative talk, but this woman has come so far, she doesn’t even call SELF stupid anymore.”

“SELF‘s story is an amazing one.” said SELF. “So many of us have watched our women genuinely put their all into changing. They’re so smart, they can feel there’s something missing. They talk about wanting more SELF love, but whatever they’re doing isn’t helping them find us. I’m really curious about how SELF’s woman did it. She’s really doing great now. What program did she do?”

“I asked SELF to find out for me. I want to start visualizing my woman doing it.!” said SELF. “We know for sure it wasn’t that ‘guru’ Dixie’s program. Remember when SELF and SELF’s women took it and both came out refusing to wear anything but purple, screaming twice as much as they did before and justifying it because they were doing it while holding their new ‘screaming puppets’?”

“OMG. How could I forget?” laughed SELF. “Let me know when you find out the name of this other program. We can all visualize together!”

“You got it!” said SELF.

*Dixie McBabyman was an unorthodox wellness guru and part time ventriloquist. She referred to herself a Self Love Sherpa and was extremely passionate about her work helping women create monochromatic wardrobes and scream through puppets. She had just recently stopped running her signature program, after landing a full-time ventriloquist job with the Carnival Cruise Line. In her act, she wore only purple and screamed almost the entire time through her dummy, Joel, so in that way, she was still carrying on the work.

The following week at their trampoline session, the SELVES were helping SELF to master her new signature move (all SELVES love trampolining, widely known as the most jovial of all sports). SELF had named the move the Triple Reverse Maxwell and, though it had to be executed while on a trampoline, it was done completely in one’s mind and required no physical movement.

”That last one you did felt great!” said SELF. “From what I could tell, it was your best Maxwell yet. Do you want to go again?”

“No, I think I want to take a little break and let that last one sink in. It really did feel great!”

“Fabulous!” said SELF “I didn’t want to break SELF ‘s concentration, but I’ve got amazing news, guys! I talked to SELF and got the info on her woman’s program. And guess what? She told me her cousin’s woman did it two years ago and is still doing great, and now my masseuse’s woman and her niece’s women are taking it, too. The Program creator is Karen Z. and from what I’ve read, it seems really innovative!”

“First the Maxwell and now this! Could this day get any better?” asked SELF.

“And I haven’t even mentioned the best part!”

“Ooh, do tell!” said SELF.

“She mentions us!!!”

“What? What do you mean?” asked SELF.

“Listen to this. I memorized it from Karen Z.’s website.” said SELF.

(SELVES posess many of the brain’s hidden features including photographic memory).

“You’re Beautiful.”